I know its a bit weird for a first entry for 2012, but I thought it was funny at the time:

So I enter the toilets at work to do a #1, we have 1 urinal and 1 toilet and my workmate took the urinal so I took to the toilet. Then commenced the toilet convo…

Him: Hey man, just so you know, I didn’t piss here. Some guy has decided to piss on the floor here and it was not me. Just sayin.
Me: haha..wut. Yeha sure, whatever man (trying to not continue the awkward toilet convo)
Him: And do you sometimes see hair on the toilet seat or around the urinal? I mean c’mon man, someone has to do something about that, cut your hair elsewhere or trim your pubes at home.

That nasty, nasty person..

In case you didn’t read that right: he wasn’t talking to me.